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Hazel's avatar

This is a really cute, and funny sci-fi story. I love the chemistry between the two main characters, and how the aliens are just like, “yeah…. we just won your game, lol”

I also really enjoyed this except:

Lisa and Jacques stared at the alien in silence for a moment, then at each other.

“I had big plans for that money,” she groaned quietly.

“As did I,” Jacques agreed sadly.

(Like same guys)

Stonewall-Jackson Collins's avatar

I really enjoyed The Race —it's a spirited, fast-paced tale with charm to spare.

I noticed how seamlessly the story blends classic sci-fi aesthetics with a flirtatious, almost rom-com dynamic between Lisa and Jacques. Their banter isn’t just entertaining—it adds stakes to the race without needing villains or violence. That balance between competition and camaraderie is rare and refreshing.

I also noticed the clever use of subversion at the end. Just when the reader expects a triumphant flag-planting moment, we’re met with an alien claiming, “We eat it.” It’s a brilliant punchline that turns colonial ambition into cosmic comedy.

As a fun creative suggestion—I noticed how distinct each ship maneuver was, and it made me wonder: what if each pilot’s flying style visually reflected their personality even more? Lisa’s smooth precision versus Jacques’ theatrical recklessness could mirror a dance—almost a ballet in space.

Altogether, this is a confident, clever short story with real personality. Looking forward to the next adventure.

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